Waiting to fall asleep.

Long hair is bothersome. When most of other people are already tucked comfortably in bed, i still have to be up waiting for this darn head of long thick hair to dry. Irksome. In the meantime reflecting back, this week has been pretty interesting. From frisky, to stressed, to excited, to depressed, to comfortable happy. Haha! One of my most weirdest weeks i must say. My mood was almost as quick-changing as the weather. Early week friskiness with heap load of stress rushing through the Mach Band using iWeb was exhausting and horrid. Maybe i was complacent enough to started work before the due date, so i had to stay up till 3 finishing it.  Mid week at Alex's was fun. Got a satisfying tan. Got that Latino to make me lunch. And a caught a movie. Late week with my favorite people. I love my peeps!!!! Its people like them that make life so much more bearable. Standard routine all the way till 4am at our secret garden. Hmm, that place is starting to be not so secret anymore. Boo! It was fun, but with a gloomy, nagging, depressing thought at the back of my head. No bf this week. At all.

Party on Wednesday!!! Is something i'm looking forward too. I always believe that too much work and no play makes Jasmine a dull person. =) I think i might be getting party fever. I think Claudia might be the catalyst. haha! But hey, there's never always too much of a good thing!

Ok, think my hair's pretty dry now. Going to bed. Goodnight.

The pool looks greener on the other side...

Yes, other people's swimming pools tend to look better than mine. Alex D.'s pool looks nicer than mine. The water seems fresher here, and the sun seems hotter there too. Less than 2 hours of the sun n i'm exceptionally burnt. And i was complaining about being white! But burnt is a nice feeling. Gives this weird sense of achievement. Haha! I guess it works for me. MY SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT is so pathetic. Lol.

Did ZERO work today. But i had fun on the plus side. Got a tan. Watched a movie. And had nice company. Spanish is starting to sound cool. Learnt couple of phrases today. Whee, i can do greetings in 5 different languages now! MY SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT is so pathetic as well. Lol. 

Gracias mi amigo pues hoy, le divertimento!

All about the Webby.

Ok. I am really REALLY bad at making web-pages. I've been trying to work something out with iWeb and now the whole thing looks like a mess. Sigh. I have information that i have absolutely no clue where to put them. Or even if i do, i have no clue how to get it done. The clock is ticking. 

Haaaaalllpppppp!!!!

Hmmm...

Got to spend some lovey time with the boyfriend.
We've always cherished time spent together. It's important to us and the relationship.
Communication, understanding and respect have kept us going.
The feeling of love isn't all that makes up and maintains a relationship, isn't it?
A lot more mutual effort is required.

Not sure if once a week is really enough though.

Nutritional Deficiency

Lack of money.

Lack of time.

Lack of freedom.

Lack of you.

Financial shortage is one aspect in life that irritates me the most. To find that you are a lot less inadequate right after a cab ride home with the freaking midnight charge as a morning call irks me to the brim. To have to worry about every single fucking cent i spent. To have to worry about whether or not i can afford something so trivial. Or even having to worry about whether i can or cannot indulge myself in a tantalizing treat every once in a fucking while. Poverty fucking sucks. Well, not that i'm not the brink of poverty right now. But thinking about my almost 4 digit figure in my bank account being reduced to 2 or even 1 irritates the freaking daylights outta me. Fucking shit!

Skool hols are ending real soon. Two weeks is pathetic to be even called the Post Semester Holidays. Didnt get much done. Spend most of my time basically working my ass of, just to make allowance money. All those spoilt fuckers out there shouldnt even be complaining about inadequate pocket money that good old parents give them. Get a job and stop whinning shitface! 

Rant 1.

Well well.. Its been ages since i last ranted, but whatever. So i met up with an old friend recently, and boy, it was tougher than i thought. She was short and petite, something i never realized before by the way. Still annoying like where we left off. Thankfully for Steph, or things would not have been as comfortable for me. Victim of the ice-queen? I'm not being the bitch. As far as i was concerned, I didnt do anything. Didnt even try to have a conversation. Didnt see the need to. 

Peek into my beanshell.

Life.
What have i been living for?
What do i want?
What does love mean?
Why does life have so many fucking rules and restrictions?
What do i hope for tomorrow?

Lost.
I missed my greatest girl friend's leaving back for South Africa. Miss her. Miss her so so much. She brought up a point about my issue. Something that has been residing silently at the back of my mind. Something that i cannot bring myself to see. Something that i cant help but completely agree with. Yes. You have set the bar so high, that i cannot bring myself to settle nor accept for anything less. Its the appropriate, most plausable explanation as to why i am reacting towards it the way i am. As much as i know i cant carry that bar to measure across the board, i can help but do it now. But what should i do about the Yin and the Yang? It will get tiring in the long run.

We are world's apart baby! Just. Too. Different.

I... Like.......

It just dawned on me that pleasures in life lie in the simplest things nature hold. Priceless tranquility resides in the setting of the evening sun over the horizon. Golden sunset illuminates the coastal regions with utmost warmth. The impending slumber of the day's light prepares for the dawn of a new day. Placid gentle breeze takes great pleasure in running its delicate fingers through my hair. Zepher feels good to the touch too, as it brushes past my cheeks. But nature is selfish, for it only shares its magnificence over a period of 30 minutes. Nightfall then takes its glamourous entrance. Clad in its montonously sophiticated black velvet cloak, with the company of sparsely ornamented glistening diamonds. The sandy siesta, with which the beach provides, serve as an ultimate couch for glamour gazing.

Reality check, Bean!

I honestly find myself one hectically annoying piece of shit. Simply cant leave other people and their peaceful lives alone. Just have to keep on texting and calling... And texting and calling... AND TEXTING AND CALLING.... Beanie Yong! Stop it already man! You're irritating! Cant you take a freakin' hint?!? People dont wanna talk to you! People cant be bothered with you and your freakin' mundane life! They dont wanna reply to your messages cause you can just keep going on and on until the cows come home. Sometimes people have better things to do with their time than to reply to your silly senseless messages. There are a thousand and one reasons as to why they dont wanna take your calls. Dont you get it already?! People just DONT WANNA TALK TO YOU! They get sick of your whiney voice cause they hear it too much! Hear you talk about 'nothing important' at all! So shut the fuck up for once! People dont miss you! They have better things to think about in the day then your wasted existence! Get a life bitch!

Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I should eat some worms.

Sorry Steph, Gay and Steph. Cant join you lovely people on Friday night. You know i'd love to.
Steph- I need to talk to you.
Steph- I need to talk to you too.
Gay- I owe you moolah.

People who want a piece of me, i cant make time for.
People whom i want a piece of, dont have time for me.
Sigh.

The phone will stop ringing. I promise.

Bite me!

People can sometimes be so overrated. So much for Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing". Sometimes just trying to hard to be that pompous imbecile with an empty brain. I love the thought of thinking of taunting her. So cute. So 'intellectual'. So politically correct. So superficial. So fake. The facade of that grandiloquent articulation, and seemingly rhapsodic stature makes me nauseaus. Aint it time to cut it out, you pompous windbag?

Exams are coming. And i'm not studying. This is bad. Very very bad. Everything else just seems more interesting. Focus, you punk! FOCUS!!!Dreams. Can be very irrtating. In a scary sorta way. Why her? Why does she HAVE to annoy me so much? Like a sordid squalid vermin, peeving at the back of my mind. Why? Why does she have to irritate me even in Dreamland? Why cant she just leave me alone? I'm happy right now, and dont you dare take anything away from me. You've tried. Tried to take it once. I remember. Now, if you could just kindly leave my happy, peaceful life alone. I love the people around me. Leave me, and my possessions alone.

Hmm.. Why didn't his car keys and cell phone burn as well? They were still ringing... Ringing... Ringing...

Ignorance is Not Bliss.

I'm lost. Lost for words. Lost for thoughts. Lost in everything i thought i had. Plans, goals, serious issues that a 20 something should be in the know. I'm not demanding politics, current affairs, or even the current regional crisis up in the not-so-friendly Paskistan. Aeronautical advancements, or even the recent fall of currency in the New York Stock Exchange. Oh! But then again, my bad, catching up on the world around us is hectically time consuming. So assuming that, we all engulf ourselves in sweet ignorance that events which dont concern us need not our worry. They walk around with the pampered mentallity of "my dad is paying for me, so why should i know?" or "That cant be done cause i dont know how to do it." Such individuals tend to think that the world revolves around them. Whatever they do somehow always seem more important than yours. Always seem as if it takes more effort to accomplish. And always more of a challenge. Fine then, suit yourself.

Welcome to my Life.

The wrong place. At the wrong time. Maybe you're just not ready. Maybe you're so used to the single life, and you cant take change. What is it exactly that you want? More still, what's wrong with me? I cant seem to find solace there. I dont know where to call Santuary anymore. Is there a reason for me to feel this insecurity that i'm getting? I cant be sure you'll be there when i need you. Neither can i be sure that you'll answer my call when i need help. Why is it that they are not able to do that? Why, of all people, cant they do that? Always too busy with this. Or too busy with that.

I'm sick and tired. Sick and tired of playing this silly old Hide-and-Seek game. How long can you hide for? 1 semester? Cowardy-custard. I dont know you. I cant even spend enough time to know who or what you are. Priority issues.